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if little boys were like stars...........

We read books with Isaak every day. I love it. Its my favorite time of day because we just sit there and read. Sometimes Chloe reads with us and tries to eat the pages of the book, but usually she just crawls around on the floor and plays with toys and Isaak is usually taking away from her. We recently read a book called If boys were like waffles. The last pages says, "If boys were like stars then the night sky would be FIREWORKS!"  Isaak is definitely a firework. He's so full of life, wonder, awe and just beginning to truly understand all this crazy world around him.
Isaak at city creek 
 We have been having an incredibly difficult time with Isaak since Chloe was born. Sheesh. It makes me exhausted just thinking about those days. He whined constantly and fought everything I said or tried to get him to do. He didn't want to eat, he didn't want to go to the park, he didn't want to do anything I suggested. I let clothes go. He wore some pretty interesting outfits that always involved soft pants(joggers). I had to bribe him to wear jeans and that usually was followed by twenty minutes of crying how hard the pants were and how cold they made him. He hated to get his hair done and still does--my new technique is setting up a firetruck in the bathroom and letting him watch the Ipad while I do his hair. Watch out cookie cutter salon!! This usually works, but isn't foolproof. He was becoming increasingly aggressive in playing with other kids, Chloe-Leona and Cory and I. We weren't sure what to do. We were trying everything. We did timeout. We took away privileges. We offered rewards and we prayed and prayed.
Admiring the waterfall at the conference center
 We are looking for a house and one day I prayed to make sure we were making the right choice because I'm terrified of change and that day some interesting events unfolded. I became increasingly aware of how mean the older small kids were being to Isaak. He was being left out by the other kids. They told him he was mean and rude and they didn't like him. It broke my heart. I tried to talk with the kids-I mean they are only 4-5years old. I'm the only parent that watches the children outside-none of the other mom's come outside. I'm constantly solving problems and trying to help the kids problem solve and be nice to each other and it's exhausting. I tried talking to the Mom's to see if we could solve the problems happening with the kids. I was told that kids had to learn to be resilient and kids just had to be mean and Isaak would become stronger. The mom's also claimed they didn't necessarily have time to watch their kids while they played. I was confused because I thought our job as parents were to teach children to behave properly. I had just read a talk that said, "I'm tired of hearing people say boys will be boys because they won't boys will be men."
His new sleep position. He likes to sleep in caves!
This day I had enough. I wasn't doing it anymore and I was not going to let Isaak play with the neighbor kids anymore. I also felt positive that we needed to find a new house where we didn't have to play with some of these children on a regular basis. I limited Isaak's playtime to only 1/2hr each day with these children and I made sure that I was able to be outside with them while they played. Within a week Isaak no longer showed aggressive behaviors at home. He stopped crying and whining as much. I played a lot more than I have in a long time and tried to come up with fun crafts to do each day. Thank goodness boys like mud! Isaak has started playing nicer, but when he plays with large groups of kids I have work to do because he has learned to exclude other kids if they don't do what he wants or screaming I hate you if he doesn't get his way. I had no idea that his playtime with other kids was having such an impact on how he was reacting to the world. I learned a powerful lesson. The best place for Isaak to be is at home. He needs playtime with other children, He needs to go to the parks, he needs to be able to learn and tons of other things, but most importantly he needs to spend time with the family and be taught by us not by running around playing for hours on end. My role is that important. It's empowering and scary all at the same time. These last couple of weeks Isaak has transformed back to a sweet, adoring little guy. He always says-thank you. He tells me not to worry and just relax when I start to get stressed out. He'll come up and put his arm on my shoulder and say don't worry mom. He giggles, loves to dance and sing. His favorite thing to do is exerbody(exercise) and that usually involves me chasing him in some way. He still hates to get his hair combed! He grumbles when he sees some of the meals I've made and he surely doesn't like me to pick out his clothes!! But our life is better and I know with great confidence that we are supposed to move. I actually can't wait. Salt Lake City-here we come!!!! And I'm excited to have our little firework back!!!!

Isaak and Chloe-Leona wrestling on the floor

Comments

Heather said…
I have been told that it is good for kids to pick out their own clothes. It allows them to make decisions on their own. Plus if all his clothes are ones you approve of does it really matter in the long run if he matched last Tuesday?
DottieLou said…
You are very fortunate to have the opportunity to be with them 24/7 even if it is exhausting. Love you

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